Financial House

If then you have not been faithful in the unrighteous wealth, who will entrust to you the true riches? – Luke 16:11

According to recent statistics, approximately 65% of couples argue about money on a regular basis. In an article by Ron Leiber of the New York Times in 2009, the odds of a marriage ending in divorce due to finances is approximately 45 percent. Many of the reasons behind this include the lack of discussions couples have before saying “I do” regarding their views on finances, debt they are bringing into the marriage, experience they have with budgets, and what they envision their financial future to be.

{MY LESSON}
Before saying our “I do’s”, Tristen and I sat down with a trusted advisor and went over all of our debt, earnings and savings. From there, we created a budget to begin saving together and to eradicate our debt. We also came to terms on how we were going to structure our bank accounts. Now, there’s no right or wrong way to do this. Some people share only one bank account. Others, like ourselves, have multiple accounts and one shared account that we can both can see the deposits, withdrawals and balance on. Do what works best for you and your partner.

I can’t emphasize enough the importance of this CC’s Pieces. It doesn’t matter if you make a lot or a little, God commands us to be good stewards of our finances. Setting the proper expectations upfront will save you A LOT of unnecessary drama later on.

{PUT IT INTO ACTION}
1. AGREE that getting your financial house in order is important and must be done before saying “I do.” Find a trusted advisor that you both are comfortable with discussing your finances. Agree who should be in charge of overseeing the budget and leave the lines of communication open and consistent.

2. HIDE NOTHING about your financial history. Now is not the time to keep secrets. This is a major step towards securing your future as husband and wife. Pay attention to your partner’s spending and saving habits. If you’re as frugal as they come and he blows through his paycheck in 2 days, it would be wise to come to an agreement on how you will address that as a married couple.

3. COMMUNICATE IN LOVE. Be prepared to find out that your partner may not have been as financially savvy as you have been. Now is not the time to make him/her feel badly about prior unsound financial decisions. Your financial advisor will be there to give sound advice on how to make more fiscally smart decisions.

4. TITHE. How much? Pray together about this and seek God’s Word. If you are a Christian couple, this should not be optional. Times do get tough, and God knows your personal situation. But He doesn’t look at the amount you give. He looks at the heart. (Malachi 3:10)

5. SAVE. SAVE. SAVE. Yes, you may be making 6 figures today. But nothing is guaranteed tomorrow and life has a way of changing seasons when you least expect it. Establishing a 6 month safety net could quite possibly be the most important thing you ever do for your marriage. I remember in 2009 when Tristen and I both found ourselves in the middle of a job transition. We didn’t panic. We didn’t fuss and cuss at each other. In fact, we were able to enjoy that period of transition because we had enough saved to survive. This also means you want to start saving for your retirement and contributing towards your 401K now, not when you start making enough to save.

Discussing finances before getting married will help eliminate one of the primary reasons for why most couples divorce. Do your part. Be fiscally responsible.

Get your financial house in order before saying “I do”.

Credit: http://www.examiner.com/article/finances-remain-leading-cause-of-divorce

{PLEASE SHARE!}
 #FightforLove
#SayNotoDivorce
#BlackMarriageMatters
#BlackMarriageRocks
#Marriageisaministry

Seek Wise Counsel

 

LET'S DIVE RIGHT INTO THE NEW YEAR! Is it just me, or does the Black community seem to view marriage counseling as some sort of taboo? "We don't need anyone telling us what to do! This is OUR marriage!" Yet, when OUR marriage ends in divorce, a JUDGE ends up telling us what to do anyway (how ironic!). The Bible advises that we seek wise counsel in Proverbs 11:14, "Where there is no guidance, the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory."

 

The good news is that seeking wise counsel can save our marriages in the long run. As my friend, Michael Nelson, eloquently put it, "We experience our breakthrough as we work through.
{MY LESSON}
I remember how exciting it was planning our wedding. Every cosmetic detail received special attention to ensure our day was perfect. But it wasn't the planning for our wedding day that laid the foundation for what we have now almost 8 years later. It was the planning for our days AFTER the wedding. Tristen and I eagerly attended not 1...not 2...but 3 different marriage conferences, in addition to our counseling sessions. Overkill you ask? Well let's just say that going into marriage without any formal counseling is like taking the bar exam without having studied and expecting to pass. Not wise!

{PUT IT INTO ACTION}
You don't have to wait until your marriage is on the rocks before seeking counseling. In fact, the best time to go is when things are going well and you just want a little tune-up.

1. PREPARE. First, come to agreement that seeking wise counsel is vital to the success of your marriage.
2. PLAN. Plan to attend at least 1 marriage conference, retreat or counseling session this year with your spouse. Doing this yearly, even better.
3. PARTICIPATE. You don't have to be the life of the party, but do actively participate in the counseling session. Keep an open mind. Take notes. Learn something new.
4. PRACTICE. Put lessons learned to work as soon as you get home. Don't save it for next week, next month...next year. Do it while everything is fresh on your mind.

There's nothing like starting the new year with a clean slate and the exciting feeling of becoming a better person. Though most of us focus on improving in the external areas (i.e. complete degree, lose weight, save money, etc.) let's challenge ourselves to spend an equal amount of time on improving our marriage.

Seek Wise Counsel in 2015.

{PLEASE SHARE!}

 #FightforLove
#SayNotoDivorce
#BlackMarriageMatters
#BlackMarriageRocks
#Marriageisaministry