“Shoot! Can I skip this CC’s Pieces today?” No you may not. Please proceed.
Did God ordain your union? Does your husband submit to God first? Does he show a genuine love for you like Christ loves his church? THEN TRUST HIM. SUBMIT TO HIM. Yes. It takes time, especially in the early years of your marriage where trust is being developed and you’re learning more about who you really married. But the benefits of submitting to your husband FAR OUTWEIGH the outcome of choosing not to submit.
If you are concerned with never getting your way if you become submissive to your husband, consider that your husband will want to make you happy when you become a calm, gracious wife. If you’re respectful and kind towards him, he will reciprocate it. Like grandma said, “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”
{MY LESSON}
Coming from a single parent home and not seeing an example of this daily, I was initially very nervous about how I would measure up as a wife in this area. Many of us in the Black community share this same story; we were raised by strong, independent, single mothers. And in reality, most of the time, we become what we see. But what I love about God is that He will divinely place something within you, even if you’ve never been formally trained or exposed to it, if you earnestly seek Him for it.
It took time for me to grow into a submissive wife (and I’m still a work in progress!). I had to look at each situation as an opportunity for me to work on becoming a more submissive wife. And what I found in the end is that respect + submission = acts of love. That means, when we as wives give our husbands what they need most, respect, they return what we need most, love.
{PUT IT INTO ACTION}
So what does being submissive REALLY look like? Do I have to do it all the time or only under certain circumstances? In examining the Greek word “hupotasso” which means “submit”, it is the continuing form of the verb. This means that submitting to your husband is not a one-time act. It is a continual attitude, which eventually develops into a behavior.
Submission is not intended to make you, as the wife, feel like a slave. Nor is submission gender specific, as we see in 1 Corinthians 11:2-3 where God commands husbands to submit to Christ as Christ did to God. But before we can do anything, wives we first need to submit to God, which is the only way we can truly obey Him (James 1:21; 4:7). Remember, God created Eve to be a helpmate to Adam, so we know submission is intended to be a loving act and a natural response to loving leadership.
1. EXAMINE YOUR HEART. Do you desire to be a submissive wife?
· Seek to understand what true submission means by reading his Word and pray for Him to transform your attitude into a submissive one. Also, be open to seeking wise counsel from someone you know who is leading my example.
2. EXAMINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP. What if my husband is not submissive to the Lord and he does things God would not want me to submit to?
· A woman can have a submissive spirit even when saying “no” and refusing to go along with sin. The Lord does not want “weak-willed” women—women who lack the discernment and strength to respond to the right things and in the right way. Godly women do not submit to sin.
3. CONFESS & MOVE FORWARD. Is it too late for me to become submissive if I haven’t been for years?
· It’s never too late to get it right. God’s mercy and grace is so sufficient that he allows us a new opportunity to start over. Take the time to apologize to your husband as well. Humbling yourself is the first step in the right direction.
4. WORK ON IT DAILY.
· Being a submissive wife is a lifestyle, not an event. There will be times when you fall off your horse. But keep working at it. With time, it becomes easier, and dare I say…enjoyable.
Submission is NOT slavery.
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