"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." –2 Corinthians 5:17
“I’ve been like this my whole life! I’M NOT CHANGING!” Hopefully, you will never have to hear your spouse say this to you, but chances are (if she’s human), she will say it at least once during your marriage. Usually when one says they can’t/won’t change something, it’s because they are afraid of what the change will produce. But one thing in marriage that is inevitable is CHANGE. Marriages go through seasons, and seasons change. A sure sign of a healthy marriage is the couple’s ability to adapt to these changes.
“I’ve been like this my whole life! I’M NOT CHANGING!” Hopefully, you will never have to hear your spouse say this to you, but chances are (if she’s human), she will say it at least once during your marriage. Usually when one says they can’t/won’t change something, it’s because they are afraid of what the change will produce. But one thing in marriage that is inevitable is CHANGE. Marriages go through seasons, and seasons change. A sure sign of a healthy marriage is the couple’s ability to adapt to these changes.
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MY LESSON}
I have long legs. Never thought this would turn into an issue until one day, Tristen brought it to my attention that I often walked in front of him instead of alongside him. My initial response was defensive, “I have long legs, so naturally, I have wider strides. Keep up!” Though I wasn’t intentionally walking in front of him, this really bothered him. I insisted that he was walking too slowly, but after I started to realize how upset this made him, I began looking for a solution.
When you find yourself struggling with change, no matter how big or small, that means that it’s time to start relying on God. When I began praying and seeking God on the matter, He made my heart more sensitive towards Tristen’s concern and gave me ways to help combat the issue. As with any habit, it doesn’t change overnight and you may find yourself slipping back into it periodically. But after much prayer and a desire to improve in this area, I do better with walking alongside Tristen.
{PUT IT INTO ACTION}
When tackling this CC’s Pieces, it’s important to keep in mind that it’s not about being right and proving your partner wrong. It’s about compromise and being willing to make a change for the betterment of your marriage.
1. Ask yourself, “What’s one thing that my spouse really desires that I change?”
2. Seek God on the issue and ask him to give you the desire to change. You have to want to change before you can start seeing a true change.
3. Let your partner know that you understand their concern and that you have a desire to change. This step is important because your partner needs to be aware that you are working on the issue. Usually, he will give you room while you’re adjusting to the change.
4. Get to work! Try different methods if the first method doesn’t work. If it’s important to your partner, don’t give up until you find a solution!
Embrace Change. It’s not going anywhere.
{PLEASE SHARE!}
#FightforLove
#SayNotoDivorce
#BlackMarriageMatters
#BlackMarriageRocks
#marriageisaministry
MY LESSON}
I have long legs. Never thought this would turn into an issue until one day, Tristen brought it to my attention that I often walked in front of him instead of alongside him. My initial response was defensive, “I have long legs, so naturally, I have wider strides. Keep up!” Though I wasn’t intentionally walking in front of him, this really bothered him. I insisted that he was walking too slowly, but after I started to realize how upset this made him, I began looking for a solution.
When you find yourself struggling with change, no matter how big or small, that means that it’s time to start relying on God. When I began praying and seeking God on the matter, He made my heart more sensitive towards Tristen’s concern and gave me ways to help combat the issue. As with any habit, it doesn’t change overnight and you may find yourself slipping back into it periodically. But after much prayer and a desire to improve in this area, I do better with walking alongside Tristen.
{PUT IT INTO ACTION}
When tackling this CC’s Pieces, it’s important to keep in mind that it’s not about being right and proving your partner wrong. It’s about compromise and being willing to make a change for the betterment of your marriage.
1. Ask yourself, “What’s one thing that my spouse really desires that I change?”
2. Seek God on the issue and ask him to give you the desire to change. You have to want to change before you can start seeing a true change.
3. Let your partner know that you understand their concern and that you have a desire to change. This step is important because your partner needs to be aware that you are working on the issue. Usually, he will give you room while you’re adjusting to the change.
4. Get to work! Try different methods if the first method doesn’t work. If it’s important to your partner, don’t give up until you find a solution!
Embrace Change. It’s not going anywhere.
{PLEASE SHARE!}
#FightforLove
#SayNotoDivorce
#BlackMarriageMatters
#BlackMarriageRocks
#marriageisaministry
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